Triggers…

I really didn’t want anybody to know about this… not my husband… not ANYONE! I just wanted to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened – you know… like a little b^%ch… but then I look up at my inspiration wall and read “Don’t be a little bi^%h” – Aquo… that’s right I said it. Guess it’s time I owned my own baggage…

I have always kind of been ashamed to use my disability card because I know I have bought myself back to be an abled body again – not completely at the moment – that will take time yet. I mean it’s been six years since my accident and I have just started to be able to move my hand from side to side (supernation & pronation) and I’m getting a bit of flexion at the elbow – It’s almost time to start working on my right hook again. Yeah – that’s not going to happen… I’m a lover not a fighter these days… The world needs more lovers than fighters now more than ever, there is so much evil out there.

I think I have just turned into an adult… a real adult! See – I wasn’t an adult before my accident, I was far from it! Then when I had the accident I spent years behaving as if I was a 12 year old child all over again – not by choice I might add. That’s what happens with traumatic brain injuries, they really are a silent disability that not many people can understand. I’m lucky I have some awesome neighbors who I feel I can talk to but I still feel like nobody understands me.

I think it’s pretty a incredible comeback I have had to this point… and I’m not done yet! I have this incredible drive and energy going on that has helped me level out a lot! It has helped me overcome some demons that I’ve seen take down some of the strongest people. The mind has a lot to answer for – no two people see the exact same thing… in any situation… ever!

I’VE LEARN’T HOW TO BETTER DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS!

This brings me back to sugar cane farming – I can honestly tell you from personal experiences that the reason there are so many marriage breakdowns, cheating scandals and the like, in this district, and probably every other sugar cane farming districts, is because no two people see the same thing… no matter how united they are.

This is because of decisions made back in the 90’s are still affecting some farms out there now – and let me tell you, it sucks – it sucks on a different level. This is what nobody understands, it’s always oh the poor farmers, the poor farmers and then the other party is labeled the homewrecker… How about the other party? why should farming mean they are supposed to be unhappy?

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!

It has always been my life’s plan to end up being a farmers wife, but let me tell you – that label comes at a high price – your mental health! Kudos to all the old birds that are out there who stuck through the really really really hard times and came out the other side swinging! I think why this is affecting me so much is because it has become a massive, massive distraction from my boys and my startup – Building an empire is full on, but I know I have it in me, I have the drive to get what needs to be done, done and set up an add on to our empire.

NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN!

What’s even cooler is how my personal development over the last few months has helped me grow in so many ways, and understand how to manage my life better to achieve more in the 24 hours god gives us everyday! It has helped me focus on what really matters (my family) and has proven to me that “adulting is harddddd!” – but it’s all good! I am now so so strong, how do I know this – become a farmers wife and you will see!

UNIVERSE, YOU CAN TRY TO KNOCK ME DOWN, AS MUCH AS YOU WANT… BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO GET UP STRONGER AND STRONGER EVERYTIME!

Aquo Xx

My Inner phoenix…

I want to remember what it feels like to not be in constant, crippling pain! You see – the reason why it is so bad right now is because I have lost the will to exercise 🙄🤬 that makes me mad! But give it a few days for my foot to heal and ill be exercising again – omg it’s like I’m 100!

Omg aspiring Fit Pro is falling flat on her face – wait… No, I’m not, not even close.

See what it does to me? It lights fire deep, deep down inside me, but it’s more than that. I do it for my boys #1 than my family. I used to be so selfish, now I’m not. Life nearly got taken away from me… I’m still here! It makes me see – I am larger than life, whether I like to say it or not, I am. What’s awesome that I’m able to actually say it now!

Chronic pain however keeps me grounded to remind me – “Yeah your larger than life, your not bulletproof!” I will always be a bit of a tool because I know how bad my mental health has been over the years and I just want to make people laugh! Even if it means making them shake their heads first. 🤷‍♀️🤪 but hey – at least I own it!

• 

I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know this is MY time to build an empire. My inner phoenix is ready to saw her wings and fly… I name her Aubrey… It means elf ruler in English… she likes coffee.

Watch. This. Space!

Aquo Xx

This madness…

Procrastination is a B&^ch with a capital B on this glorious Friday. Yes – some of you may think “well, she’s lazy isn’t she, Aquo hasn’t posted in forever!” But honestly… my life is bat shit crazy… EVEN in ISO! Erin cut my hair yesterday, so I can at least tie it up again and we were talking about how I’m busier in ISO than I was before all this madness!

I surprised myself yesterday by sorting out all of my completed assessment and making sure that my first four modules of my certificate 3 in fitness were… drum roll please… COMPLETE! OMG! In four months to the date that I signed up with the Fitness Institute to start my ‘self-made’ journey – or whatever you want to call it. So there’s my study, two… um, let’s call them beautiful little angels… 🙄There’s TRYING TO maintain a household… see what I did there? 🤔working out – because if I don’t, I may die! anddd all the rest that comes with being THE QUEEN OF THIS CASTLE. I seriously don’t even know how everything gets done.

I’m currently listening to a few lectures and taking notes while I’m trying to write this piece. I just came across this question – what are five absolute and five relative contradictions to fitness appraisals, one of the answers for the relative contradictions is mental or physical impairments… Um hellooooooo – haha! I win. Me. Amy.

And my confidence gets boosted to the next level (um is there even a next level?) yes, yes there is! Just like most people, we carry those things that we are self-conscious about… and if you say you don’t – YOUR FULL OF SHIT! I so need to get back to this assessment… rrrrooooaaarrrr! That’s right – my ROAR is getting more and more powerful! I’M SOOOO FREAKING EXCITED TO GET TO WHERE I’M GOING! I’m that excited and I feel so empowered and strong it’s not funny. That much so, my energy is rubbing off on the boys. I saw a massive shift in Jack’s behavior yesterday, that was a freaking miracle in itself! OMG! last night he dressed himself in his jarmies, he’s trying to start a trend – he will always put his pants on backwards and tells you ‘I BUST YOU’ if you make him put them on properly. He wanted to wear jocks to bed so I told him ‘if you drink your milkey bottle in front of the TV then go for a pee,’ he could try wearing jocks to bed.

Andrew upped me saying I’m pushing him, dude – he asked! I WILL NEVER BE THAT PARENT WHO TELLS MY KIDS THEY CAN’T DO SOMETHING (UNLESS IT’S BAD)… I thought that was pretty clear… just saying… I knew he would wake up through the night and the sleepless nights that are ahead AND I’M COOL WITH IT! 9pm comes and I’m still up, he woke up, was sorted went back to bed… DONE! My alarm clock (hARRY HAD A CRAPPY START TO THE NIGHT) slept in till 7.30 setting us back an hour, but it’s all good… It’s 1pm and I’ve still got so much to do today but it’s all good… I haven’t exercised yet today – AND THAT’S NOT GOOD! 3pm I’ll do a half hour sesh with my fitbands, that can be my relax before I go pick up both kids and the madness is full on until 7pm! I’m so lucky I made the transition to not drinking or I would probs be a raging alcoholic…

IT TOOK ME THREE HOURS FROM THE START TO END OF MAKING THIS PIECE LIVE…

I HAVE TO GO STUDY!

Aquo Xx

My first ever professional interview…

For more than 10 years Australians have turned to Kidspot to help them solve their parenting problems. I was so excited when Carrol Baker contacted me and asked if I would be interested in being featured for a story with a reach of 3.6 million people! Without question, I agreed and lost lots of sleep over the weekend thinking about it, waiting for the phone to ring Monday morning.

I would like to thank Carrol Baker from Kidspot for contacting me to do a story on being a mum with a brain injury. Thanks for the laughs! I had fun chatting and discussing how far I have come in seven years.

If you would like to have a read, you can do so by clicking here…

It is NEVER too late to be what you might have been, – George Eliot.

Aquo Xx

Easter 2020…

Wow – isn’t this Easter quite different!

But – you know what? It wasn’t so bad… Getting closer for our little family of 4 is something I wanted before I had my second child. It’s nice to look out the window and see Jack helping his father unload all the fencing, carrying fence posts that are 3 times his size, he’s definitely a little machine… Look out Herbert River Crushers a new front rower in the making!

Some of the things I am greatful for this Easter are how wonderful some of our small businesses are in the Hinchinbrook Shire. I had a knock at my door the other day – it was Karen Venables, owner of JK’s delicatessen in Herbert Street, Ingham 4850. This beautiful soul dropped off a wonderful fruit and veggie box with some of the most amazing chocolate I’ve ever tasted in my life! I am super greatful to Karen, Jared and their three beautiful daughter’s for that lovely gesture this Easter, I don’t know whether Jack was more excited for the broccoli or chocolate haha.

I’m greatful that we ate like kings today – the lasagne, chicken and spaghetti, prawns, garlic prawns, salad (which I ate none of by the way for the first time ever) crumbed and battered fish and the list goes on. It’s safe to say I had the best nap ever today!

I think through all of this COVID-19 drama we could possibly come out of this stronger, collectively and as individuals. That’s usually what happens – you know, a massive shock to the system will usually make or break a person… It will take ages for the world to get back to exactly the same as it was but maybe having to live simply will make us appreciate the finer things more.

And on that note my nearly 3 year old is trying to go all WWE on his 11 month old brother’s ass. 🤦‍♀️ things are getting hectic! Remember – stay home, stay well, we will all get through this together!

Aquo Xx

Being a mum and wanting more in life…

There is literally so much involved with being a stay-at-home mum, especially for those who don’t have much support day to day, that those people without kids and even some dad’s just don’t seem to understand.

One thing I need to get more on top of is my house cleaning. I’m barely getting a hot meal on the table , usually in the morning I will get out a meal I have made previously – it’s still a meal… It’s just not the same!

My impulse and my need for being a perfectionist will kill me one day I swear! It doesn’t matter if one of the boys have had a bad night – I have a list everyday and if I don’t complete every task to the best of my ability, I find it hard to sleep until everything is complete.

Today, Humpty Dumpty died, I mean, I ate him! I swear I’m eating just to stay awake and study! I’ve completed two assessments for my module today so I’m on top… for once!

I just wanted people to know I’m not dead!

Aquo Xx

You’ve got what it takes, but it will take everything you’ve got.

I have been running ‘Aquo’ for a few years now. When I started, I had no idea about how any of this techy stuff worked – Now I’m a queen at it! I started writing about a heap of different ideas to help you live a much more organized & fulfilling life. The idea behind this blog is to be very, very real. My aim was and always will be to help others that are going through/have gone through similar obstacles that I have faced/are facing.

My name is Amy Irvin (Haha it’s so weird saying that!) I was Amy Aquilini or as many people know me – Aquo. In 2013, I had a horrific quad bike accident that left me with a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), In 2017 I bought my first home (Since I was a kid I have always said I would own my own home by the time I was 25, and I made it, just…) and had a beautiful baby boy named Jack in June that year, then in 2018 I married my partner Andrew and we fell pregnant again towards the end of August 2018.

Fast forward to the end of March 2020, the world is rife with COVID-19, the world should just go into lock-down already! THE SOONER WE GET IT OVER AND DONE WITH THE SOONER IT WILL BE OVER! Wake me up when it’s all over! But seriously – everyone be smart about their daily practices please!

I think in many ways, I’m living proof never to give up hope with anything that’s thrown at you in life. Never stop trying to better yourself – you will be surprised how changing the things that are thrown at you in life from a negative to a positive, will improve your overall quality of life.

Flush out the toxic people in your life, even if they are family – trust me, they are bloody everywhere! By doing this you will feel a massive weight being lifted from you. You will be able to live a much more fulfilling life.

Get up, put a smile on your face (regardless of what your going through), deal with your shit and make the most of it!

Aquo Xx

Finding the hero within…

During times of uncertainty, were not going to find comfort in the news, most social media outlets – I feel we need to grow within ourselves now more than ever and revert back to the simple practices in life. Things like building a small vegetable garden to cut the cost of veggies and essentially the cost of a grocery shop. There are ways and means to create anything you want in this life – You just need to find the hero within, the self drive and determination to never give up no matter what it takes.

I feel that to move forward in a positive way through these trying times there needs to be more self education, whether it be to learn how to build a kick-ass chicken coup (like my husband just built) or to get a certificate or qualification you have been putting off because life became too busy.

We all need to take a step back and slow down with our life’s practices. We need to be reminded of what is and what isn’t important in life. bond with your kids, work on your relationships, on your cooking skills, get that spring clean done you have been putting off for the past two years… the list goes on – be creative!

This too shall pass – the trying times, no matter how bad will blow over, eventually as the world wont stop spinning for anything. Maybe this pandemic has occurred as god’s way of trying to slow us all down, the world has gotten to the point where everything happens extremely fast, I’m not saying it isn’t going to get bad, I’m just trying to live with a more optimistic outlook on life.

Take an unpleasant situation and grow from it, economically and personally. Here’s an alternative way to look at life.

from my heart to yours,

Aquo Xx

Trust yourself…

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

Golda Meir

It was back in 2015 that I actively decided that – “That’s it, get up out of bed and stop being a little bitch!” It was at that moment that I came alive again. I started chipping away at self-development, spiritual development and started a bit of self- education.

After finally moving home back to Ingham (which felt like at least five years – My time perception is really bad now #ptsd) I realized how depressed I was. Being the sort of person I am – I was not going roll over and die, I was going re-create a person I was happy to live with for the rest of my life.

I have had to completely rebuild myself, my life. You see – at 21 I had a horrific quad bike accident that left me with a traumatic brain injury and a severe brachial plexus injury which means my right arm barely functions. I’m working so hard everyday to make it work again. I’m getting movement back slowly – my arm was fused, but in future, who knows what medical technology will bring. I know it will work again, maybe just not as good as my left.

I’m riding the education train, trying my hardest to make life easier for my family. I have purpose in my life now – raising my boys and trying to build an empire… It helps that my impulse is currently out of this world and my head is as hard as stone… really… I took on a tree and I won.

“See me, I’m still standing, I may be bleeding, but I’m still breathing” – is a line out of one of my favourite songs back in my high school days…

I can not believe how much you can change your body in a matter of weeks. Since the above size 12 photo was taken (first weekend of March), I’ve dropped heaps more fat and have toned up pretty decent. It took me until the start of March to be comfortable in my own skin, I can finally look at myself naked in the mirror and not scream and run away. OK – it wasn’t exactly that bad… but you get it, right?

One of my friends from high school owns a coffee shop (which makes me really happy because coffee is life!) And I made the comment the other day that if you think about it – this is me being an adult for the first time… at 28, I’m finally an adult. Before my accident, I was still trying to find myself and wasn’t going about it the right way.

I guess what I’m getting at is we all need to have a little more trust in ourselves and a lot less self-doubt, because at the end of the day I feel, that is what separates those who are successful and those who are not.

Go forward in life with a twinkle in your eye and a smile on your face, but with great and strong purpose in your heart.

Aquo Xx

Anatomy is harddd…

Hi team, I just realized I forgot to post yesterday! My usual days are Mondays and Fridays and I love being able to brighten people’s days… even if it’s only one or two people – because I know all too well of the alternative.

I was smashing my way through my Certificate III & IV in Fitness, being aware of my struggles now regarding knowledge retention – I was aware Anatomy would be full on, turns out it’s not hard it’s just extremely time consuming… It’s safe to say this subject has consumed my life! Well that and raising two toddlers – I’m lucky Jack can speak as well as he can & helps me as much as he does. Harry is now on the move at a rapid pace so life has just jumped to the next level!

But at the end of the day, there’s always tomorrow and I can only do what I can do. I AM going to make this course my bitch and I’m sure as hell going to come out the other end swinging. I have created a 10 year study plan – regardless of the COVID-19 pandemic. Yes this is scary but the virus is here (in Australia) – so what are we going to do about it? Well for starters we need to educate ourselves on the virus – Prevention, containment, symptoms, etc. BUT is there anything out there that factually explains what happens if somebody does have the virus? That’s not a statement, it’s a question, I haven’t been able to do my research – I’m writing this as I’m cooking dinner because like I said earlier, I can only do what I can do.

So until Monday – I will love ya and leave ya… I hope everyone is taking all the precautionary measures that have been advised from the Australian Government but are continuing to live your best life! You only get one – you can let this consume you or you can rise above it!

Aquo Xx